Rats

"Crap. We're right in the middle of the street."
"What? That's impossible. We should be in an alley. What do you see?"
"People. Lots of people. This isn't good. Can you even read a map?"
"I wouldn't call this a map. Its drawn on a paper placemat. I thought you'd done this before."
"I have. There's nothing wrong with the map. Its who's reading the map I have a problem with."
"Yeah? Come down here and say that."
"Oh, shut up. We have a bigger problem. If we can't find it Carl's gonna shoot the both of us. How much time do we have?"
"Uh, about fifteen minutes."
"Shit. Alright, down you go. We have to back track. If we can't find that alley in the next fifteen minutes we might just have to stay down here for the rest of our lives."
"That wouldn't be so bad. I kind of like it down here."
"I know you're joking so I won't punch you in the mouth but if you don't get moving you won't have a mouth for me to punch."
"Hey! You asshole. That was my hand."
"Move dammit! Why are you still standing there with your head in my ass?"
"I'm moving, I'm moving. Jeez."
"Alright. I thought we were here, but it looks like we're here. That's where the coffee shop is."
"We're at the coffee shop? That's only two blocks from where we started and we've been down here for two hours. "
"Hey! You were reading the map! Don't look at me. If you could tell your left from right we'd be there already."
"I can read a fucking map! Look at this. We shouldn't be anywhere near the coffeeshop. There must be more turns down here than you drew on the map. What? What is this written with? Pencil? You used a pencil? It's smudging all over the place."
"Don't rub it. Of, course I used a pencil. You can't erase pen."
"Oh my god. You really are stupid, y'know. You can erase pencil and that's my point. Look. Half the map's all fuzzy now. Oh man, we are in so much trouble."
"Here give me that. This way. We go this way. C'mon, we haven't got that much time. Are you coming?"